to writer Dave Matthews, “a guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one
point or another, they will fall for each other; maybe temporarily, maybe at
the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.” This captures the basis of
friendships and indeed lasting relationships. One author captures this
perfectly when he opined, “if conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the
music, and making time spent together a melody this could create a masterpiece
to be replayed over and over without getting stale.”
tertiary institution is oftentimes the breeding ground for lasting friendships
and many times the place to find lifetime partners and soul mates. Some
relationship experts are of the view that the best relationships, the ones that
last, are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. The simile, ‘like a switch has been flicked somewhere
and the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever
imagine yourself with’ holds true.
Attendees at a recent awards banquet on the NCU main campus pose for the camera
formed at a tertiary institution can be of a social or an intimate nature but
whatever it is, there must be a balance between tertiary studies and
relationships. Many individuals get so caught up in trying to satisfy the needs
of their friends and the relationship in general, that they neglect their studies.
Time for both your relationship and your studies must be made.
Joshua Harris assured, “men must assume the responsibility of leading and
initiating in their relationship with women. Leading is a form of serving. When
you provide direction, suggest ideas and initiate conversation or activities,
you are serving, which includes being the one to plan time together as well as
for studies.” Therefore in balancing your relationship of any nature with your
studies, time management is of extreme importance.
a tertiary institution this phrase holds true, ‘some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and
we are never ever the same. True friends are those who, when you make a
fool of yourself, don't believe that this condition is permanent.’ This
epitomizes the value and quality of the relationships formed at tertiary
institutions. However, balance is essential if academic excellence is to be
achieved. Students must be organized and keep abreast of study commitments.
This includes planning to ensure there is less room for procrastination.
Therefore it will be a “win-win” situation where the academics will not be
neglected or derailed and the relationship will not suffer.
meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if
there is any reaction, both are transformed,” according to C.G. Jung. Lives are
indeed transformed by friendships formed at the tertiary level. But as one
writer puts it, “great care should be taken by Christians in the formation of
friendships and in the choice of companions at tertiary level and life in
general. Take heed, lest what you think to be pure gold turns out to be base
beings are by nature gregarious and friends are important while studying at the
tertiary level. Consequently, careful consideration must be taken with whom
associations are made since alliances can either help or hinder academic success.
The writer further asserts, “worldly associations tend to place obstructions in
the way of your service to God, and many souls are ruined by unhappy unions,
either business or matrimonial with those who can never elevate or ennoble.” As another author so aptly puts it, “our
greatest joy and our greatest pain come in our relationships with others. Trust
is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective
communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”
So do not rush into
any kind of relationship, work on yourself and be grateful for the people who
make you happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.