According to writer Dave Matthews, “a guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other; maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.” This captures the basis of friendships and indeed lasting relationships. One author captures this perfectly when he opined, “if conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the music, and making time spent together a melody this could create a masterpiece to be replayed over and over without getting stale.” 

A tertiary institution is oftentimes the breeding ground for lasting friendships and many times the place to find lifetime partners and soul mates. Some relationship experts are of the view that the best relationships, the ones that last, are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. The simile, ‘like a switch has been flicked somewhere and the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with’ holds true.

Attendees  at a recent awards banquet on the NCU main campus pose for the camera

Relationships formed at a tertiary institution can be of a social or an intimate nature but whatever it is, there must be a balance between tertiary studies and relationships. Many individuals get so caught up in trying to satisfy the needs of their friends and the relationship in general, that they neglect their studies. Time for both your relationship and your studies must be made.

Author Joshua Harris assured, “men must assume the responsibility of leading and initiating in their relationship with women. Leading is a form of serving. When you provide direction, suggest ideas and initiate conversation or activities, you are serving, which includes being the one to plan time together as well as for studies.” Therefore in balancing your relationship of any nature with your studies, time management is of extreme importance.

At a tertiary institution this phrase holds true, ‘some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same. True friends are those who, when you make a fool of yourself, don't believe that this condition is permanent.’ This epitomizes the value and quality of the relationships formed at tertiary institutions. However, balance is essential if academic excellence is to be achieved. Students must be organized and keep abreast of study commitments. This includes planning to ensure there is less room for procrastination. Therefore it will be a “win-win” situation where the academics will not be neglected or derailed and the relationship will not suffer.

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed,” according to C.G. Jung. Lives are indeed transformed by friendships formed at the tertiary level. But as one writer puts it, “great care should be taken by Christians in the formation of friendships and in the choice of companions at tertiary level and life in general. Take heed, lest what you think to be pure gold turns out to be base metal.”

Human beings are by nature gregarious and friends are important while studying at the tertiary level. Consequently, careful consideration must be taken with whom associations are made since alliances can either help or hinder academic success. The writer further asserts, “worldly associations tend to place obstructions in the way of your service to God, and many souls are ruined by unhappy unions, either business or matrimonial with those who can never elevate or ennoble.”  As another author so aptly puts it, “our greatest joy and our greatest pain come in our relationships with others. Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”